And lo, the heavens parted, and down came the epiphany to Rio Tinto: “Let there be light… let it be solar!” Yes, brace yourselves, dear readers, for the best laugh of the decade – a mining giant espousing eco-friendliness with the subtlety of a solar flare. What’s next, vampires hosting blood donation camps?
Verily, the heralds of progress have sounded their trumpets. Rio Tinto will erect a solar farm so vast, it might just send Icarus into early retirement. By 2027 – mark your calendars and hold your breath – the skies over the Yurralyi Maya Power Station shall bless us with 120 kilotons less carbon dioxide. Oh, jubilation! And for those of us without a scientific calculator, that’s a lot, apparently.
The stock market twitched with glee, Rio’s shares giggled upwards, possibly relieved that their carbon shoes are finally being exchanged for greener sneakers. Meanwhile, shareholders sip their ethically sourced lattes, as they revel in this newly minted ‘investor sentiment.’ Profit, not prophet, remains the guiding light.
Now, for the punchline. It’s not quite the tomorrow they paint it to be – no, it’s a slow, torturous crawl to 2030. Technology must mature, they say, as if it were a fine wine we keep forgetting about in our dusty cellar. And ironies of ironies, the operation that digs up the earth is now its supposed savior.
So, let’s raise our glasses to this Glacial Pace Green Revolution™. We’ll see solar salvation, not in a flash, but with the steady speed of a glacier – that is, the glaciers we have left.
